Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
