Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
