you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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