I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
