I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize