GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize