You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
