I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So many bounce houses so little time
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
