oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
