i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You can't just leave with hair like that
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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