Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
