that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
