To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
