you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize
