Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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