Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
