And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
