new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
