Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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