actually, I'm a sock model
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
