Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
