Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
