I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
