I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So much rum. So many feels.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm sobbing to NWA
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
