due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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