Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize