The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
