wake up i wanna do it froggy style
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize