I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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