tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
