Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
