You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
