I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
