Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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