dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
