There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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