I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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