i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
