i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
