i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
