craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
