It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
