I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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