I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
