I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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