i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just want nice things and good sex
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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