I understand Curling. That high.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
