U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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