And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
