Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
What a dumb baby whore.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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