I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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