if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
