Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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