i permit you to call me
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
